Favors
by anon004
Summary: Cuddy is forced to ask House for a favor. Nothing good can ever come from that.


**Disclaimer: Don't Own, etc.**

**Favors**

"House!"

Cuddy should have known that nothing good could come from asking House for a favor, but she really had no choice. At least that's what she told herself that morning. She had an emergency board meeting, and Rachael had to be at pre-school at 9:00. She couldn't take her, and neither could Wilson (a.k.a., Uncle James) because he had to be at the board meeting, too. She thought about either Chase or Cameron, but then she remembered that they were away on what would probably be their last "alone" vacation for a while, what with Cameron due in three months. House had also decided to send his entire team to a diagnostics conference in St. Paul, probably just because it was January and he was hoping they would get frost bite. Even nurse Brenda couldn't help her; she had been forced to work both the night and the morning shift because one of her nurses had been unable to get his car started. None of this would have been a problem for Cuddy, except that her babysitter had the flu (with projectile vomiting), and her back-up babysitter was away looking at colleges with her daughter. So, Cuddy was actually desperate. The only person available was House. Cuddy had to give away the store to get him to agree (no clinic duty for two weeks), just to make sure he was awake at 8:30 and looking barely presentable enough not frighten the children when he dropped off Rachael. It was on the way to the hospital, so House didn't have to waste any of his damn precious time going out of his way by a couple of miles. He didn't even have to pick her up afterwards. Cuddy would be out of her meeting by 11:00 at the latest, so she could pick up Rachael by the end of her class at noon.

"House!" Cuddy repeated in her best, most authoritative, maybe even most scary, administrator's voice. "What the hell were you thinking?"

House noticed that Rachael was not with her as she flung open the door to his office. "Where's the kid?" House inquired, trying his damndest to deflect.

"She's with Wilson," Cuddy hissed between clenched teeth, "stop trying to change the subject."

"What did I do?" House asked, his face displaying the most innocent expression he was capable of.

"Why did you let Rachael bring . . . " Cuddy paused, looking down and attempting to collect herself, "THAT to her pre-school today?!?"

"Well, I was just going to drop her off at school, as my BOSS requested," House began. "But she started on about how she absolutely had to bring something to show and tell. I told her to bring that ratty stuffed bear she drags around with her everywhere, but that wasn't good enough." House hoped that that was enough of an explanation, but he knew there was no way it would be.

"I still don't know how you decided to bring THAT!" Cuddy demanded.

"Well," House answered, "the letter of the week was 'V,' and that was all that was available."

"House, the refrigerator is full of vegetables!" Cuddy yelled in frustration.

"Well, yeah, it's easy for you to remember that now that the pressure of getting her to school on time is over." House said, still hoping to avert her rage. "Besides, look at the bright side, at least I didn't give her any of my Vicodin . . ."

Cuddy had never been this close to killing an employee, even House. "How could you?" she bellowed. "Don't you know how many strings I had to pull and how many favors from major contributors I had to call in just to get her into that school? Not to mention how many months I spent cultivating every relationship at the school itself, including the janitor?!? Do you have any idea how much it's going to cost me to fix things?"

At the mention of exclusivity and cost, House thought back to every crappy military academy his so-called father had tried to enroll him in, and he stopped feeling defensive. "How was I supposed to know what a bunch of upper-class tight-asses they were going to be?" he bellowed back. "Why would anyone make such a big deal out of it?"

Cuddy finally lost all control. "They are four and five year olds! How did you think the kids and their teacher would react to seeing my vibrator?!?"

House sat back in his chair, exhausted from trying to defend himself. "I guess this means I'm not going to get out of clinic duty for the next two weeks, doesn't it?" he asked, attempting some form of damage control by trying to manipulate Cuddy into believing that was punishment enough.

Cuddy's control had yet to return. "That's the least of it!" she screamed. "The only way I'm going to keep her from getting kicked out of that school is to make a large contribution, and I mean LARGE. You better be ready to shell out some big bucks if you want to keep your job!" With that, Cuddy turned on her heel, pushed open the glass door with a bang and stormed down the hall.

House quickly picked up his cell and pressed the second number in his speed dial. As the other party picked up, House said, "Wilson, how much is our friendship really worth to you? I'm going to need to borrow some significant cash."

House didn't realize Cuddy had re-entered his office. "Oh, no you don't! No mooching off Wilson! This money is coming from you, House."

House flinched as he knew there was just no way to get out this particular obligation. He hung up on Wilson without even saying goodbye.

"Oh, and don't forget to pick up Chinese for dinner tonight" Cuddy demanded.

"Your wish is my command, my love," House responded in his most sarcastic voice as Cuddy finally left his office.

In addition to the money, House wondered how many sexual favors he was going to owe Cuddy for this. A smile formed on his lips as he realized that she wouldn't be needing that vibrator any time soon . . .

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A/N: This is my first story. Please be gentle when you review.


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